R

C's words left me on edge: "Q's secret was buried with her".

This was not some petty little mystery about the fate of the world and two warring groups. He was speaking of the secret of her death.

Did he mean that I was never to know it?

Or, as it occurred to me yesterday night, was he being painfully literal?

It was almost dawn as I hastily stole a shovel from my neighbour's porch, bundled myself up for the winter chill and ran back to the graveyard.

The sun rose while I was still chipping away at the frozen earth. It was a herculean struggle and I managed only a small hole before exhaustion took over.

When I awoke, I was chilled down to the bone and sitting next to a freshly dug six foot ditch. A note was taped to my forehead and so I removed it and read aloud with chattering teeth:

"Catching a cold Out here. Unless you Return to warmth, Toe loss and Extreme pain are in Store. You are nOt invincible, Friend. Regards, a mysterious benefactor."

I shoved the note into my pocket and proceeded to ignore its contents. With frozen fingers, I pried open the now-exposed lid of Q's coffin, preparing myself for the worst.

I had not prepared well enough. Instead of a body, opening that coffin left me with something worse. Much, much worse - a mystery.

Inside was only this: a scrap of paper with Q's writing:

QB ABG FGNAQ NG ZL TENIR NAQ JRRC V NZ ABG GURER. V QB ABG FYRRC. V NZ N GUBHFNAQ JVAQF GUNG OYBJ. V NZ GUR QVNZBAQ TYVAGF BA FABJ. V NZ GUR FHAYVTUG BA EVCRARQ TENVA. V NZ GUR TRAGYR NHGHZA ENVA. JURA LBH NJNXRA VA GUR ZBEAVAT'F UHFU V NZ GUR FJVSG HCYVSGVAT EHFU BS DHVRG OVEQF VA PVEPYRQ SYVTUG. V NZ GUR FBSG FGNEF GUNG FUVAR NG AVTUG. QB ABG FGNAQ NG ZL TENIR NAQ PEL; V NZ ABG GURER. V QVQ ABG QVR.

JVGU YBIR, D

Dare I hope? I have nothing but this clue. Yet I tire of mysteries. I do not want answers, I do not even want questions. I want peace.

Readers, I bid you a solemn farewell. Whether this note is as literal as C's instructions, or as figurative as my worst fears, it is the only answer I have.

I may hope. I dare to hope. But hope is not the same as belief.

Goodbye readers, I am off to chase intangible hope - that painful paradise, that tempting truth, that happy heartbreak. I doubt I will return.

With love,

- A.M. Ham