S
I've just returned from a harrowing escapade during which I almost needed to chew my own leg off in order to escape. Luckily, the pinky toe was sufficient, and I managed to make it off the exploding hot air balloon. But don't let me bore you with that tale. Instead, I have much more exciting things to discuss here. I am confident that my rendezvous with W has led me back down the right path.
I won't stop exposing the secrets of The Organization nor will I come out of hiding. However, W reminded me that we still had a common enemy: the Agency. I did initially consider that Q's murder was a result of the Agency's actions, but it seemed impossible that they would do such a thing without taking credit for it. Yet perhaps their plan is to sow distrust in our ranks. If so, I must congratulate them on a job well done. But I must also seek revenge.
The Agency is an ancient and nefarious organization that delights in causing havoc and doing harm. The Organization was formed with the main goal of keeping these evil-doers at bay. I've never met one of their own before, but they lurk behind every corner, like the monsters we knew were under our beds as children, despite our parents vehemently denying their obvious existence.
I will turn my eyes to this evil, rather than the one festering in our own Organization. I dare to hope that perhaps it isn't one of us that killed Q after all.
But hope is not the same as belief.
Finally, as I said that I'd continue my exposé on the deep, dark secrets of members of our organization: S is the one who always borrows the stapler without returning it.
Searching in my refrigerator for either clues or sandwich fixings, I found the first letter Q ever sent me. It was in code, of course, but I barely needed to convert the letters into their alphanumeric value, run them through the Aquarius Equation, square the result and subtract the degrees fahrenheit at which they'd been stored before converting them back into letters using the Transylvania Cipher.
I remembered exactly what it said: "AFW ETWTHRdfau ASFeWaaas Yab"
That is, of course, before running it through the decoding process.
When I find that I have little strength to continue my arduous mission, I remember her message. We should all aspire to live by these words. Perhaps then, the world might be a brighter place.
- A.M. Ham
